Tuesday, February 15, 2011


I've noticed two things on Facebook lately:

Some people really HATE Valentine's Day.

Some people really LOVE Valentine's Day.

What do these two people have in common? They value love. If the holiday were just a "love" day and not a "show off to the rest of the world by buying something expensive for your significant other or you'll feel like a loser (especially if you're single) day", it would be a completely different news feed. Can you imagine it?

"May God bless you and may you feel the depth of His love," or "I LOVE my FRIENDS! Happy Valentine's Day!"

So many holidays are isolating experiences for those who either do not share the faith, have lost family members (or their entire family), are enduring financial hardships, or are single. This doesn't mean we can't each find a way to make every holiday meaningful to US, individually.

I have been single for three Valentine's Days post-divorce, and the first two were awful. Not only does the day co-incide with our anniversary, AND a day of "love", AND the day I found out my spouse was cheating and using my credit card for a weekend away with his lover, AND the day I found out about their baby on the way, but the sincere outward displays of love from others to each other were difficult to endure with the wrong mindset.

No one owes me anything. I'm not entitled to have a romantic relationship, it's a treasure. It is not a common finding to have true, real romantic love. I'd rather be alone and an excellent mother to my boys than be in a relationship that is not of God's architecture. When I pray for my heart rather than wallow in the hurt of loneliness, joy finds its way in. Despite my "past" with this holiday, God secures my future daily with a renewed sense of belonging to Him and his UNENDING love.

How awesome is that?

I went out with one of my oldest friends here in Idaho, Steve. We're both single and genuinely enjoy each other's company, and we had the most amazing weekend! I hosted a "singles" party at my house and made dinner for some dear friends, then on Monday we went out to a favorite Italian restauraunt with a big group and laughed all night.

I also did some special things with the boys - and made them little baskets of goodies to wake up to and share with their preschool class. Here's a photo I snapped of them before we left the house. They were my favorite Valentines!

Two years ago I'd never imagine how lovely this holiday could be, and all it took was a change of HEART. :)


  1. Erin,your story is amazing! You posted on one of my blog posts back in August (I know, crazy) I've just now gotten back in to blogging. I cant imagine what you went through- with the secret lover, and baby etc.. You are doing an outstanding job raising your little ones! Keep up the good work, girl. You are in inspiration to me and many other Single Mommas out there!

  2. Thank you, Erica! I'm so glad that my story is an encouragement to you. That is exactly what I've hoped for... that despite the difficulty, God would use it for good.