This is for your "what it's worth department" and it may help you to think through a tough or intense situation!
The content is from my Cultural Diversity teacher, and I thought it would be useful for anyone reading this blog! :)
* 1. Not listening carefully. We know when your attention is divided.
* 2. Casually dismissing an incident, a problem, or a situation with comments like "sounds like a personal problem to me." or "How is that MY problem?" Annoying to hear!
* 3. Attempting to deflect the importance of or to minimize a problem. It makes some people's concerns seem unimportant.
* 4. Taking a stand for inaction by making statements that reflect and attitude of not caring, or of avoidance with statements like "What can you do?" That kind of thing isn't really seeking an answer.
* 5. Being too self absorbed to care or pay attention. This will be obvious to others.
* 6. Making comments or promises that are insincere. People have radar for this stuff!
* 7. Having unrealistic expectations of another person, their work, or their attempts to remedy a problem. This can backfire, you should be reasonable with yourself and others.
* 8. Relying on assumptions without looking into or investigating a situation or a problem. Big Mistake!
* 9. Making judgments based on incomplete information, or on your perceptions alone. Better check your attitude and investigate.
* 10. Responding with sarcasm. Do you want to be thought of as a "jerk"?
* 11. Displaying feelings of hostility through words, facial gestures, and body language. DO NOT act this way with the police!!!
* 12. Not holding your temper (same as above), and judging someone's reaction with a hostile response. This may provoke an attitude adjustment that you would not like.
* 13. Using harsh words and/or yelling. This makes people not want to listen to you.
* 14. Laying blame on someone without due regard for engaging them in a conversation or avenue of discovery, and of course not involving them in problem solving. Examine why you are laying blame. Is it or will it be productive and helpful. Watch your language.
* 15. Using blatant insults, name-calling, and or other words that are defamatory. I know! It's hard to refrain from letting someone know how you feel with ahem...passionate words.
Saturday, February 6, 2010
Friday, February 5, 2010
Learning to say no...
I'm a people pleaser. It is just my nature. I want the people around me to feel loved and cared for.
I'm also direct. When you do something I feel is harmful, I'm not going to beat around the bush and keep quiet. I'm going to politely go to you and let you know that what you are doing is hurting me. Tactful, but direct.
Through the inevitable difficulty this has brought at times, I'm learning something important.
How to say no.
How to say "no" to a friendship. How to say "no" to a conversation. How to say "no" to participating in events with people who do harmful things, no matter how guilty I feel. I have to do what is best for me.
I've also learned:
Why I don't always have to explain myself if someone thinks ill of me. God will show them in time what truth is.
Why sometimes the best thing to say is nothing, even when someone is attacking you. Again, God reveals truth.
Why I have just one person whose opinion I should be concerned about - and that is God.
Why you should choose friends and confidants wisely, because inevitably, when you make a poor choice in a friend, they will betray you in ways you never thought possible. God is the best confidant. He will never disappoint me.
There are things that we all need to learn about our strengths and our weaknesses, and I choose to be a person who listens to criticism, and try to improve.
Oprah once said, "Turn your wounds into wisdom." I plan on doing just that.
I'm also direct. When you do something I feel is harmful, I'm not going to beat around the bush and keep quiet. I'm going to politely go to you and let you know that what you are doing is hurting me. Tactful, but direct.
Through the inevitable difficulty this has brought at times, I'm learning something important.
How to say no.
How to say "no" to a friendship. How to say "no" to a conversation. How to say "no" to participating in events with people who do harmful things, no matter how guilty I feel. I have to do what is best for me.
I've also learned:
Why I don't always have to explain myself if someone thinks ill of me. God will show them in time what truth is.
Why sometimes the best thing to say is nothing, even when someone is attacking you. Again, God reveals truth.
Why I have just one person whose opinion I should be concerned about - and that is God.
Why you should choose friends and confidants wisely, because inevitably, when you make a poor choice in a friend, they will betray you in ways you never thought possible. God is the best confidant. He will never disappoint me.
There are things that we all need to learn about our strengths and our weaknesses, and I choose to be a person who listens to criticism, and try to improve.
Oprah once said, "Turn your wounds into wisdom." I plan on doing just that.
Monday, February 1, 2010
Here I am... at midnight... still awake...
The last few days have been a rare torture for me.
All three of my kids have gotten sick, in succession. First Matthew, then Shane, then William... all to culminate today with all three sick at the same time. It was full of excitement, that's for sure.
Mostly, it was just screaming. A lot of screaming. I can't make them all happy at once. There is ALWAYS one of them screaming. There is only one of me, and three of them... they ALL want to be held individually. This makes life hard, because I don't have a cloning machine.
It's moments like this that I really wish I had someone else to comfort them, to encourage me... in other words... to just be HERE. Even if only in their thoughts.
I am blessed to have friends and family help, though - and I am at not means at my breaking point. I was there yesterday, but thankfully my mother came to my rescue and took just the twins for the night (THANKS, MOM!!!). Today, it's a different place in my heart. Accepting that I am here, but an intense longing for someone to be by my side through the good and the bad is missing, and that can be frustrating.
I am simply waiting on God to bring the right one into the picture. If it happens, I'd be thrilled. If it doesn't, I understand. God will just have to equip me to handle these things myself, if the latter is my destined path.
I'll likely be up most of the night.
Pray for me!
All three of my kids have gotten sick, in succession. First Matthew, then Shane, then William... all to culminate today with all three sick at the same time. It was full of excitement, that's for sure.
Mostly, it was just screaming. A lot of screaming. I can't make them all happy at once. There is ALWAYS one of them screaming. There is only one of me, and three of them... they ALL want to be held individually. This makes life hard, because I don't have a cloning machine.
It's moments like this that I really wish I had someone else to comfort them, to encourage me... in other words... to just be HERE. Even if only in their thoughts.
I am blessed to have friends and family help, though - and I am at not means at my breaking point. I was there yesterday, but thankfully my mother came to my rescue and took just the twins for the night (THANKS, MOM!!!). Today, it's a different place in my heart. Accepting that I am here, but an intense longing for someone to be by my side through the good and the bad is missing, and that can be frustrating.
I am simply waiting on God to bring the right one into the picture. If it happens, I'd be thrilled. If it doesn't, I understand. God will just have to equip me to handle these things myself, if the latter is my destined path.
I'll likely be up most of the night.
Pray for me!
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