I'm in a bit of a pickle... and I know it's one many of us moms share. Life is so full of challenges and obstacles, and it's our challenge to respond to them gracefully and prayerfully.
I've been under a lot of pressure from people I know about my decision to "ship my children off" for any amount of time to a preschool, AND for going to school. It has weighed heavily on me that they would not approve of my desire to achieve something for myself, and that they feel I would be somehow "harming" the boys to have them in another person's care for a grand total of 9 hours a week.
I was planning on going to school online (so if my kids were sick, I could be home with them, but still have time to complete my coursework without having any interruptions and do my internship time in classrooms), and was told that the state would subsidize my childcare (or pay a percentage to help me out). Unfortunately, that just might not happen. Apparently because it's online, and not in a classroom every day, (even though I'm taking ten credits) I may not qualify. At least, not without an appeal. That leaves me another month or two away from the POSSIBILITY of having help paying for 3 hours of preschool 3 days a week, which will cost me an astronomical amount of money.
I don't think I can handle ten credits, one of the classes being CHEMISTRY, on my own. I'm in a very precarious situation, and just praying my way through it.
As much as I pray my way through it, until some of these things get resolved and I know where I'm up against, I'm going to be struggling somewhat.
Man, if only that "Easy" button from Staples REALLY existed! ;)
I'm confident that this is EXACTLY where God wants me. That gives me the strength to overlook the naysayers and accomplish my goals regardless of the negativity and desire to control. I feel a peace about my direction, but the process is not without its rocks and bumps. I have overcome so much... and this is just another one of the million bumps in my life road.
Now to just wait for Tuesday with the results of whether or not I qualify for childcare assistance.... and then decide where to go from there.