Here I am... at midnight... still awake...

The last few days have been a rare torture for me.

All three of my kids have gotten sick, in succession. First Matthew, then Shane, then William... all to culminate today with all three sick at the same time. It was full of excitement, that's for sure.

Mostly, it was just screaming. A lot of screaming. I can't make them all happy at once. There is ALWAYS one of them screaming. There is only one of me, and three of them... they ALL want to be held individually. This makes life hard, because I don't have a cloning machine.

It's moments like this that I really wish I had someone else to comfort them, to encourage me... in other words... to just be HERE. Even if only in their thoughts.

I am blessed to have friends and family help, though - and I am at not means at my breaking point. I was there yesterday, but thankfully my mother came to my rescue and took just the twins for the night (THANKS, MOM!!!). Today, it's a different place in my heart. Accepting that I am here, but an intense longing for someone to be by my side through the good and the bad is missing, and that can be frustrating.

I am simply waiting on God to bring the right one into the picture. If it happens, I'd be thrilled. If it doesn't, I understand. God will just have to equip me to handle these things myself, if the latter is my destined path.

I'll likely be up most of the night.

Pray for me!