Something new is happening this year. I've seemed to get my groove back.
Instead of sitting around waiting to be asked on a date, I've put myself out there. Tried. Failed. Tried again. Struck up converstation at hardware stores, the market, the gym... anywhere I find myself kid-free for the moment. If things seem great, I offer them my card with my number, and ask for theirs in exchange if I feel REALLY good about how the conversation went, leaving one ball in my court.
I've met some great people, and I'm so glad that I'm finally losing the "I'm not good enough," or "no one will date a single mom" attitude. There are millions of us out there. Dating. Living. Moving on. It's a mindset. If you view yourself as less valuable than you are, that's how you will be treated. I refuse to accept that my love live is over. I am a good woman, with so much to offer, and my sons deserve a "real dad" that will be a part of their lives. They're pretty awesome, after all.
You may ask yourself, "Why are guys SO AFRAID of single mothers?"
Let's examine this.
Do we bite? Nooooooo.
Do we smell funny? Nooooo.
Are we one-eyed green ogres? Noooo.
What exactly is wrong with them? Why don't they see the many benefits we have as women, and as partners... aside from the fact that we have children?
The answer: They aren't. The right ones, anyway.
Some intelligent men actually realize that there is a PERSON behind the title "Mom", and that they make pretty amazing partners.
I've discovered that it's losing the fear of failure that enables success.
JUST ASK. What's the worst thing they can do... say "No?" I can guarantee they'll be flattered, even if they don't pick up on any of your advances.
So, instead of constantly looking at all my faults, all my "baggage" as some people call it, I am building myself up to a realistic view of myself. Just because I'm a single mother does NOT mean that I won't find someone amazing, who is a great match for me, a great partner, a great father. Instead of listening to heartbreak radio, I pick songs that are all about being fabulous and fun. I dance around the house getting my routine done, and am so energized when I'm done... I have a nice little bounce in my step. Looking at the plus side of what I've been through:
1. I'll survive. When life throws its worst at me, I'll bend... but I won't break. Ever.
2. I'm a good mother. When it counts, I put my kids first. But, I've learned to take time for myself to keep "me" healthy.
3. I have learned the value of hard work and perseverance, and will work hard for what I really believe in.
4. I'm loyal. Even when my marriage was falling apart, I gave him every opportunity to make it work. No stone was left unturned. When things go badly, I'll do the right thing. I'll fight for truth, and for what is good.
5. I know how to run a household, and did so successfully. Breakfast, lunch and dinner on the table every day, laundry hung in color-coordinated order... the works.
6. I've seen marriage at its best, and its worst. I know what to look for and what I want. I won't string anyone along that isn't for me. I've seen what happens to a heart that is broken and I refuse to do that to anyone else.
So, I may not be a freewheeling single girl with no attachments or responsibilities, but if a good guy is looking for someone true and loyal, as well as a dedicated partner, I'll be there. In the meantime, I can wait patiently for the one that God has for me... if it's in the cards.