Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Single Mothers Do It Better.

 Something new is happening this year. I've seemed to get my groove back.

Instead of sitting around waiting to be asked on a date, I've put myself out there. Tried. Failed. Tried again.  Struck up converstation at hardware stores, the market, the gym... anywhere I find myself kid-free for the moment. If things seem great, I offer them my card with my number, and ask for theirs in exchange if I feel REALLY good about how the conversation went, leaving one ball in my court.

I've met some great people, and I'm so glad that I'm finally losing the "I'm not good enough," or "no one will date a single mom" attitude. There are millions of us out there. Dating. Living. Moving on. It's a mindset. If you view yourself as less valuable than you are, that's how you will be treated. I refuse to accept that my love live is over. I am a good woman, with so much to offer, and my sons deserve a "real dad" that will be a part of their lives. They're pretty awesome, after all.

You may ask yourself, "Why are guys SO AFRAID of single mothers?"

Let's examine this.

Do we bite? Nooooooo.

Do we smell funny? Nooooo.

Are we one-eyed green ogres? Noooo.

What exactly is wrong with them? Why don't they see the many benefits we have as women, and as partners... aside from the fact that we have children?

The answer: They aren't. The right ones, anyway.

Some intelligent men actually realize that there is a PERSON behind the title "Mom", and that they make pretty amazing partners.

I've discovered that it's losing the fear of failure that enables success.

JUST ASK. What's the worst thing they can do... say "No?" I can guarantee they'll be flattered, even if they don't pick up on any of your advances.

So, instead of constantly looking at all my faults, all my "baggage" as some people call it, I am building myself up to a realistic view of myself. Just because I'm a single mother does NOT mean that I won't find someone amazing, who is a great match for me, a great partner, a great father. Instead of listening to heartbreak radio, I pick songs that are all about being fabulous and fun. I dance around the house getting my routine done, and am so energized when I'm done... I have a nice little bounce in my step. Looking at the plus side of what I've been through:

1.  I'll survive. When life throws its worst at me, I'll bend... but I won't break. Ever.

2. I'm a good mother. When it counts, I put my kids first. But, I've learned to take time for myself to keep "me" healthy.

3. I have learned the value of hard work and perseverance, and will work hard for what I really believe in.

4. I'm loyal. Even when my marriage was falling apart, I gave him every opportunity to make it work. No stone was left unturned. When things go badly, I'll do the right thing. I'll fight for truth, and for what is good.

5. I know how to run a household, and did so successfully. Breakfast, lunch and dinner on the table every day, laundry hung in color-coordinated order... the works.

6. I've seen marriage at its best, and its worst. I know what to look for and what I want. I won't string anyone along that isn't for me. I've seen what happens to a heart that is broken and I refuse to do that to anyone else.

So, I may not be a freewheeling single girl with no attachments or responsibilities, but if a good guy is looking for someone true and loyal, as well as a dedicated partner, I'll be there. In the meantime, I can wait patiently for the one that God has for me... if it's in the cards.


  1. Hi Erin! I just read part of your blog! You sound so happy and at peace with your life and it is great to see that you are doing so well! I couldnt be happier for you. Those boys are sure growing up fast, hopefully you are enjoying every minute :) It also sounds like you were a born author, it seems like writing is your forté! Hope you have a wonderful 2010

  2. Any man would be HONORED to have you!! But... because you have such high standards.. not every man deserves you or will get you!! My Erin deserves a prince and will not settle for less!!

    You have children. But- I think that proves that you are a responsible, dedicated woman. You know how to juggle more things than any average human. You are stronger than most women and have a love that is never ending. Single mothers are self sacrificing--and it a real man is looking... they will see pure gold in you. I just want to make sure that the RIGHT men are looking for you. Have you thought about putting a sign on the door (or at the end of your driveway...) "No losers beyond this point"??? ;)

    You are a gem! Seriously-- I have ALWAYS thought that. What man wouldn't want a BEAUTIFUL woman, with a cheerful attitude, amazing at cooking, and cleans wonderfully. Seriously--who wouldn't want Erin aka Martha Stewart!!

    I aspire to be as accomplished, encouraging, and amazing as you are. It shows right through you....and the godly men will notice!

  3. Im loving your blogs...keep them coming they crack me up. Ok not all of them but I have 3 boys so I feel your pain.

  4. I just read your blog for the first time. I ♥ the ones I read. I am really impressed and even though I'm not a "single mama" I will be coming back for more!

  5. Thank you, Holly! Kristen - what would I ever do without friends as wonderful as you are?!?! I agree - I won't settle. I also won't spend my free time with *ehem* losers... and am actually thinking about posting that sign. :) Your feedback is always so heartfelt and wonderful. SO THANKFUL FOR YOU, dear sister-in-Christ!!! I wish I could carry a mini-Kristen around in a box to talk to about all my life's questions. :) Leanna and Yara - thank you for your encouragement!