Thursday, July 29, 2010

Joyful Chaos

Things have changed so much around here that I feel the need to update you on the craziness that our house has evolved into as of late. With the boys growing and changing, their abilities have changed significantly, and without nap time in our life, my work load has increased twofold. Enjoy, at my expense. :)

6:30 AM - Waking up (NOT looking like Sleeping Beauty, but more like a woman who was beaten with wiffle bats the day before) to another day, an hour and a half (because I need that extra half hour of sleep) before my boys. Proverbs 31 woman, thanks for the tip. I never used to be a morning person, but having three boys 4 and under makes you realize such things are necessary.

6:40 AM - Let out the chickens and give them fresh food and water. Check on the baby turkey. Make coffee. Do all these things at hyper speed.

6:50 AM - I throw some makeup on, get dressed and brush my teeth and try not to look TOO closely at myself in the mirror. I like to pretend I'm a supermodel despite my obvious lack in primp time and the whole "having kids thing".

6:55 AM - Chug my coffee. After I finish getting ready, I notice the skid marks from the kids on the toilet (potty training mishap of some kind) and instantly feel less glamorous as I whip out the antibacterial cleaners.

7:10 AM - Now that the "whoopsie" is contained, I bop on downstairs to get started with my day. I pick up the toys strewn about the house from the night before and throw them into bins, replace couch cushions (which is the only time they will all be on the couch at once - before the boys wake up), vacuum, spray everything in sight with Lysol, and then start in on the kitchen. Unload the dishwasher, put in what was left from the night before, and get started on breakfast. Today it's sausage waffles - a Bisquik mix with cooked ground sausage IN the batter. It's a good self-contained breakfast food for the kiddos, and with fruit and milk at the table, a decently complete meal.

7:50 AM - I sit and feel fabulously accomplished, with my house relatively orderly and the kids sleeping like angels. I drink my coffee and relish in this moment, knowing that the true chaos is to come.

8:00 AM - Like clockwork, the boys come bounding down the stairs (oh, to have that kind of energy) giggling and acting like kitties, or dinosaurs or puppies, whatever they happened to agree on that morning INSTANTLY after waking up. They all want hugs and breakfast.

8:05 AM - Breakfast is served. Syrup drips on the chair, a waffle is flung, someone discovers that shaking milk on their brother makes him cry, and I start my yoga breathing.

8:15 AM - Now that breakfast is decimated, I move the sticky minions to the kitchen where they all get a wipe down with baby wipes and hands washed with antibacterial soap. I would use equipment the guys from Monsters Inc used on monsters who had child contact, but sadly, that was just in the movie.

8:18 AM - Chase Matthew down and bring him back inside from the backyard.

8:19 AM - Realize that Shane went out, too. Bring him back inside.

8:20 AM - Sit all three kids down in front of the TV to watch Dinosaur Train on PBS while I attempt to rid my table of the sticky goo that they were able to make and apply to the hardwood cherry craftsmanship. I don't think that could be good for the finish.

8:30 AM - Go downstairs and remove a load of laundry, fold it, put a new one in deftly trying to avoid the potty training (and failing) clothes, but failing myself in grabbing a part that is less than beautifully clean. Run upstairs like a crazy person and wash my hands, but checking as I run to make sure the boys are sitting nicely, as they are. Return to basement and carry up the load of clothes I folded, now realizing that the boys are not where I left them just seconds ago. Look out the back door to find all three in their pajamas in the sandbox. Great.

8:45 AM - Begin wrangling. Start by asking, try a bribe and fail, so I resort to corporal punishment for those who didn't listen and come in. Attempt to haul three cranky little boys upstairs to get them properly dressed for outside play.

9:00 AM - Daydream about creating a Velcro suit wall system to place naughty boys on to keep them out of trouble.

9:15 AM - Finally get all three upstairs by one at a time picking up and carrying each kid while giving each a train to distract him for a few seconds while he's there. Shut the bedroom door behind me once all three are contained and sit in front of it. Use one foot to keep the door shut while I reach for diapers and a bag to put the dirty ones in from the night before, and grab the nearest kid to begin dressing them. All while keeping my foot on the door.

9:30 AM - Give all of them "the talk", with LOTS of hugs and kisses, asking them to be really nice to their mommy and listen & follow directions so that we can all have a fun day.

9:31 AM - Shane sticks his tongue out at me, and the other two run away giggling.

9:32 AM - Spankings.

9:33 AM - Hugs and consoling, followed by another "talk".

9:35 AM - Now that all is right with the world, we begin some kind of group activity. Today it's playing with the Little People Farm, which is the new favorite. Having real chickens somehow enhances the whole experience, though all of them fight over who gets the chicken pieces.

(And, that's how my day typically begins. Anyone want to babysit?!?!) ;)

10:05 AM - It's time for stories since we've had 30 successive minutes of good listening and behavior. One simply isn't enough, so we burn through six children's books, lingering on every page to allow full perusal. Such a wonderful thing. Instilling the love of books into my kiddos is the most fulfilling thing I've done.

11:00 AM - LUNCH! FINALLY! I make and serve macaroni and Cheese, veggies steamed in the microwave and a fresh peach cut up for each boy - and my lunch of a thrown together turkey sandwich.

11:30 AM - Begin picking off pieces of macaroni that have stuck to the floor and wipe down the table. Note to self: invest in wipe-off place mats.

12:00 PM - Put out crayons and coloring paper on the table, and nudge the kids into actually coloring instead of going back outside to make a giant mud hole with the hose.

12:30 PM - Fail miserably and accept my fate as the woman with filthy kids who strip their clothes and jump around in the mud. Chug some coffee to prepare myself for the coming mess.

1:12 PM - Get sprayed with the hose by two little troublemakers. Barely even flinch.

1:45 PM - Now that I'm tired of getting sprayed and the kids are getting way too wild, take them all inside for another bath after hosing them down on the deck. Put all mud caked clothes in a pile by the door to deal with later.

2:00 PM - Deftly avoid getting mud stains on the carpet by carrying each kid individually up to the bathroom, but getting myself filthy in the process.

2:30 PM - After sudsing up each boy and getting the floor soaked from some overzealous boat wielding, clean up another mess and the mud ring around the tub, and carry each boy to his room so he doesn't slip on the wet floor as he tries to break the world record for running to the bedroom.

2:43 PM - Allow naked running around and jumping on beds, simply because now I'm too tired to tell them no.

3:02 PM - Regain some steam and start getting them dressed again. Hunt for shoes in the closet and around the house. And hunt. And hunt.

3:20 PM - Finally find six tiny shoes that match.

3:30 PM - Attempt a run to the grocery store. Herd the minions to the car, and strap each one in.

3:35 PM - Put in one earbud of my Ipod so I can listen to Lady Gaga or whatever I want while the kids listen to "Old McDonald".

4:00 PM - Arrive at Costco. Stalk someone who parked close to the front, and ask them to leave the cart there so I can trap the twins safely in the seats to get across the parking lot. Costco is my favorite, because they have DOUBLE CARTS!

4:03 PM - Get stopped by old people who want to gawk at the twins.

4:05 PM - Say "HI!" to my photo developing friends, Amanda and Jen. Too many photos = the photo girls know you by name.

4:09 PM - Get stopped by old people who want to gawk at the twins.

4:10 PM - Feign some kind of emergency and evade more old people, rushing back to the rotisserie chicken station. Will says, "Mommy - is that our rooster?"

4:13 PM - Head to the veggie room. The kids are delighted by the cold. Giggles and smiles provoke even more old people to gawk at the twins.

4:15 PM - Escape.

4:20 PM - Hit the bread department with the "look of death" on my face to anyone who so much as looks at the kids. They are starting to poke each other, which is the inevitable prologue to some serious violence. I will not be stopped by gawkers if it kills me. Which it might.

4:22 PM - Get stopped by old people who want to gawk at the twins. AAAAAAAH!

4:25 PM - Escape, and make a beeline to the check out stand.

4:26 PM - Twins start biting each other. GREAT.

4:45 PM - I'll gloss over that next part, so as to spare you the hair-pulling details, but I've checked out, and it wasn't pretty. I'm just counting my blessings to be headed HOME.

5:00 PM - Car is loaded, on the road again.

5:25 PM - Make it home with the groceries, unload and send the kids to the backyard while I make a quick dinner with the rotisserie chicken. Will giggles and makes chicken noises as I pull it apart. Charming. I pretend the chicken is talking to him in an attempt to get him to leave me alone, and he just giggles more.

6:00 PM - Dinner is served. We all pray together, and the tiny little "Dear Jesus" and "Amen"s are sweet enough to make any difficulty in the day fade away. Will prays for the baby turkey we just adopted, the Silverwood train, the train robbers (hahahaha), and his "best friend Mommy". Awesome.

6:30 PM - The mess from dinner somehow makes it into the dishwasher, though in my stupor, I'm not sure how, and the kiddos are watching some good old fashioned Looney Tunes while I do my work.

7:00 PM - PJ's for all munchkins and the bedtime routine begins. I read all the books in the "Biscuit" collection, put on their lullaby CD, and leave the hall light on. Of course, as I leave the room, Matt asks for more kisses. "Other cheek, Momma. Forehead. Hand. Eyes. Ears. Nose." I use my tried and true method of covering his whole face in rapid-fire kisses until he begs me to stop, then he feels sufficiently "kissed up".

8:02 PM - Will sneaks out of bed to ask for one more hug and kiss, too.

8:30 PM - I send him back to bed, helping him "fly" to the top bunk.

8:45 PM - I sit in the stillness, and decompress. Time for an episode of Desperate Housewives thanks to Netflix!

9:30 PM - Get some cleaning done, laundry folded and toys sorted.

10:30 PM - Head to bed with a book and some decaf hot tea.

12:00 AM - Finally finish reading, and sleep!!!!!!

Then, REPEAT the next day, but maybe adding Silverwood into the mix!


  1. Erin, you amaze me! Your boys are beyond blessed to have you for their mom.

  2. Haha oh dear, how I enjoyed that (sorry!) Erin, do your boys not take naps?! Or did I miss that part?

  3. Thank you, Erica! All I can ever do is my best!

    Melissa - Haha - dont' feel bad. ;) They don't take naps anymore.... it's a tragedy! If they nap, they don't want to go to bed until 10 or later....!