Saturday, May 8, 2010

Why Dating Sucks.

There have been times that I've really enjoyed dating, but lately I'm just totally spent. I give up. I have no energy left to deal with the sharp ups and downs of the process of "trying out" men.

This comes from a couple of different sources.

-My ex is coming to visit the boys, with his new wife and son, and that takes a LOT out of me.

-My 'adopted dad' had a brush with death, and I'm still praying for his recovery.

-My life is finally becoming what I'd hoped it could be, and I'm not sure I want to share the spoils of my hard work with anyone just yet.

-My breakup a month ago with the pilot made me re-evaluate where I want to be and how I intend on getting there, with or without a man in my life.

So, I decided to make myself a list of all the reasons I don't like dating, because while I know I am not ready to jump back into the pool just yet, I may forget for a weak moment and agree to a date. :)

Let me know if you have something to add to the list, I'd like some inspiration (and so would the other jilted ladies out there!).


10. Trying to 'put on a show' for a man, playing the 'games' of the dating world well, and arranging for babysitting can be emotionally exhausting.

9. Babysitting is expensive!

8. Actually having to shave your legs and primp yourself for hours is not easy to do when you barely have time to get your dishes and basic chores done.

7. You end up fielding all kinds of awkward questions from people when they find out about your date, or worse yet, after bumping into someone DURING your date.

6. Most men will not live up to our hopes, and end up doing something to make us feel badly.

5. The stress of waiting to see "if he'll call".

4. The stress of wondering if when he called meant something.

3. It can make us more critical of ourselves than we would be normally.

2. You spend time on someone who may not stick around.

1. Rejection hurts. The emotional fallout can last far beyond the next day, or even the next week, depending on the level of disappointment.

What do you have to add?


  1. Boys are dumb.

    The end.


    Your prince is out there, Erin. You'll find each other when you least expect it. It just seems to happen that way.

  2. Jennifer LoveMay 08, 2010

    All though, I agree with all of these, mostly.. And jilted still, that I am.. I am still dating my beau. And am not finding to much to write bad about this dating experience yet... I can say that I can totally see where you are coming from and why.. I have been in the same place, and before this dating choice had cut off dating all together for over a year and a half. And it took alot of convincing to get me back to date again.. And I couldn't be happier at this point.
    I am horribly saddened to hear that this has ended for you.. But, put faith that this is a road you are meant to take, bumpy or rocky as it may be, meant to be taken still....
    What you are to learn, or who you are teaching.. may be unknown..
    But you are reaching out to sooo many women right now.. And that may just be the thing..
    I though I would write to tell you to keep on with your positive, loving, happy self! :)
    This to shall pass!!!!

    All my love, thoughts and prayers!

    ~Jennifer Love~

  3. Jen - I've resigned myself to that very thought. :) I'm not worried, and am just doing my best to take care of myself when I feel overwhelmed.

    Jennifer - Thank you for your kind words! I hope to help in any way I can. For me, reading other single mom blogs and getting as realistic a perspective on their experiences made me feel less alone, so that is what I hope to achieve. I have heard from so many readers about their dating experiences, and it seems like so few of us give ourselves a break when we need one.

    This is just a temporary break for me, until I feel more "ready" to deal with said ups and downs again. :)

  4. AnonymousMay 09, 2010

    I have a revision to point 6) for you.

    6) Some of us men will exceed your hopes, and end up doing something to make you feel great.

    Not everyone's garage has space for a Ferrari :)


  5. I don't think you need a list of why not to date.. I think you need a special reminder that God wants your undivided attention at this point in your life. He is still molding you into the godly woman/mother that he has designed you to be. When He is ready for a companion to come into your life-- that companion will fit your mold perfectly.

    I know it is easier to say than to do-- but let God do the work. I speak from experience. I gave up dating for a year at college--and that's when I met Chris. I made a promise to God to focus my attention on him and not other men. And he brought in an amazing man that I was able to get to know on a deep level without having to deal with your 1-10 listed above. It was wonderful meeting a man with "no strings attached" and God later turned my blessed friendship into a wonderful romance. Seriously only something He could have orchestrated. And HE will do the same thing for you! I love you!

  6. @WokeUp40 - excellent point. ;) This is not a man-hater list... it's an "Erin needs a break from dating and needs things to remind her of this" list. LOL

    @Kristen - If you were a boy I'd just marry you. :) I completely agree. I feel so strongly that God is working miracles in my heart and life, and wants me to enjoy this amazing journey right now. Just the ministry to women alone would be worth not having someone to dominate any more of my free time.

    I don't want to have to deal with 1-10 anymore, and I want to wait on God with all my heart. Pray for me in this area, Mrs K. :) Thank you for your friendship. You mean the world to me!