Friday, February 12, 2010

Living a 3-d life.

Just when you think you have it all figured out, life sneaks up on you and WHAM! Another life-changing surprise to deal with and adjust to.

This week has been spent largely trying to accommodate a couple of new dimensions of my schedule, and deep in thought about my future. Mostly, how miserable it can be to live a two dimensional life.

Everything looks better on paper. Dates (especially - lol), jobs, to-do lists... even marriages. "Married with three kids, a successful husband and a house with a white picket fence and a dog" can be the most miserable h-e-double-hockey sticks that anyone could ever live in.

This week, while thinking about the depth and richness of relationships, I began to have some new thoughts as a result of my current circumstances. It has been a virtual awakening for me, truly praying about and considering the quality of each relationship I have, and which ones I want to devote more time and energy to, as well as those I don't.I am looking for connections that are lasting, deep and true. They are what I would consider 3-d relationships. They have substance, they bring great joy and they endure great sorrow.

Then, there are the 2-d relationships we foster with hundreds, if not thousands of individuals that we encounter on a yearly basis. The ones that drain us and we feel like we are having to "put on a show" for.

The worst of all of these relationships are the 1-d relationships. Usually from those who want something from you, perpetually. They don't give anything... they just take. Those are the toxic ones I wish to avoid, and to learn to stand up for myself to protect my heart from such relationships (which I am a sucker for) is absolutely crucial to my heart's emotional fitness.

The same principle applies to our day-to-day activities, as well.

What are you investing your time with?


Outdoor activities?


Watching television?

What are the levels of quality associated with each? Do they enrich your life, or just kill time?

The last few days have been wonderful - I've kept up on my housework and felt an overall sense of achievement and joy, despite the crazy that keeps re-occurring. It's inevitable in life. People let you down. People stand you up. People will disappoint you thousands and thousands of times.

God never will disappoint us, and he created rich and wonderful things for us to fill our time with here in this life, if we will only take him up on it. I hope to continue to re-direct my attention from the things that hold me down to the wonderful blessings that are scattered throughout my life and enjoy the present in all its fullness.


  1. I feel as if at any moment we can slip into each other's shoes and not miss at step. It's as if I am reading my own thoughts... :) I am shooting for the 3-d as well, and am very thankful that I have you as my DDD!! ;) Love you Hun!

  2. Good post-- but I just have a comment about your menu today...

    How the heck do you do that? Seriously? No left overs scheduled for the week? I'm lucky if I make 1-2 meals a week-- and that's with Chris' help!! We have breakfast for dinner or left overs ALOT! You impress me my dear.... wow! (my jaw is hanging low!)

  3. I sure hope that you consider me a 3-d friend ;) after all, we ARE heterosexual lifemates <3

  4. We spend so much time looking for things in life we sometimes tend to look past what we have... The moment we stop looking for what we want we find it staring us in the face...

  5. Bryn - I love you, too girl!

    Kristen - Um.... we have leftovers for lunch daily, and usually there aren't a bunch of leftovers anyway. ;) Often time I will take the meat from the main dish and freeze the leftovers to make a casserole or a pasta sauce, and that saves me a ton of time. Plus, cooking is my zen (remember? :) and if I DON'T cook, I'll go a little crazy!

    Mandi - DUH! Of course you are my 3-d friend! I can trust you with ANYTHING, WUBS!!! :)

    Terry - so true. Lately I was feeling pretty sad that I am alone, and wished I just had someone to hug me when I was sad, and to cuddle up and watch a movie with, and I realized I have three little boys who would love to do just that! :)

  6. I read a few of your blogs and I was wondering what your true purpose of this site was? You've been posting on her for quite some time and it seems that you only write about the same things over and over again. Is it for therapy? Because it seems you're still as unhappy as the day your husband left you. Reading your blogs, I see no sincerity in what you're saying. You talk about people not really meaning what they say but I feel you're just project those same emotions through your blog. I feel you're not being sincere with yourself or for the people who read your blogs.

  7. Obviously, you really do not get the point of the blog... nor do you understand what it is like to be in my shoes. I find it funny that you feel so compelled to post a snarky comment here in light of your inexperience, and yet not have the courage to post your name.

    The true purpose of this site is to convey the life of a single mother, post detonation. Yes, I write about the same things a lot, because the same feelings re-surface over and over again. It is the nature of life. One of my favorite quotes is, "It is not for the moment you are struck that you need courage, but for the long, uphill climb back to sanity and faith and security." It is a daily choice. Some days I let the hurt get the best of me, but most (especially lately) I am able to overcome my struggles.

    My husband didn't leave me, I left him. He decided not to get help, and to terminate the marriage, but I filed. I left. I am also the one still picking up the pieces of what he did in my life. That is what this site is about, to give other single mothers (and people in similar circumstances but married - the life of raising children is just difficult) a chance to see someone's life, no veneers, no secrets and no pretention.

    I do set higher goals for myself than I am able to achieve some days, but at least I'm trying. So many others in my shoes just give up. All you can do is get up, pull up your boot straps and do your best.

  8. inSANEmom (AKA: Amy VR)February 18, 2010

    Erin - We heart you (and your blog) just the way you are!

  9. To "Anonymous":
    The purpose behind any one person's blog is determined SOLELY by the person penning the words. Erin, or anyone else for that matter, is not living her life in pursuit of your happiness or enjoyment; and her blogging about it is not for the betterment of anyone but herself. She's simply sharing the journey. If you're bored, you're MORE than welcome to find something else to read. But to come onto someone else's blog just to degrade its owner and her writing shows a lack of class and respect. You emote a certain level of self-righteousness with what you wrote. In my experience, those are the types of people who have much more to work on than A) the people they're criticizing, and B) they themselves realize. Other people see it, though, and it makes you look exceedingly foolish. So, I say what is probably on the minds of everyone else who read your condescending remarks: What do you care? In what way is this blog hurting you? And who in the WORLD is forcing you to read it if you're finding the need to convince Erin that she should change what she writes? Your negativity is definitely NOT constructive, and is therefore completely unnecessary here.

    To Erin:
    It's YOUR blog and YOUR life. There may be those who disagree with how you choose to execute either, but it isn't they who determine the path. Only you. And only you can be happy with the decisions you make. I know this totally goes without saying, but don't make decisions based on anyone's opinions but your own. You'll be miserable otherwise. I read something somewhere (I wish I could remember where). It basically said that it doesn't matter who you are, what you do, or where you go; there will ALWAYS be someone there to tell you you're wrong. ALWAYS. Understanding that, we have to move forward and absolutely SHUN negativity. Don't let it anywhere near you. YOU know what's right for YOU. Let THAT be your guide. =)

    P.S. Have you ever seen A Snoodle's Tale? It's on one of the Veggie Tales videos (I wish I could remember which one). I know it's on YouTube, though. My sister posted the clips (two clips, one video) on my Facebook page. You should watch it sometime. =D

  10. To Anonymous- Of course it seems like she's posting the same thing over and over again...she's a mother. That's what being a mother is like. Routine & repetition. Not always, but think about it. For most of us, we do basically the same thing every day with a few slight variations. Make the same things for breakfast for our children, naptime at the same time every day, the same snacks day in & day out, the same play dates every few weeks, etc. As most of us mothers have realized (especially with multiple children) routine is essential. It's the only way to keep our sanity and to keep the household in some kind of order. So if it seems like she's writing the same thing day in and day out, she is. That's her life. But the thoughts & feelings behind these day to day routines change by the minute. That's how humans are. If you think Erin is not being sincere or you think she lacks emotion in what she writes & says then you need to go back and re-read a few of these blogs, or better yet, have a conversation with her. She is one of the most sincere people I know.

    And to daisiesnfreckles- A Snoodle's Tale is my FAVORITE! That's actually what the dvd is called...and it's a lesson in self worth. I love actually makes me teary eyed sometimes :) Erin if you haven't watched it yet you should. It's cute.

  11. Erin

    I enjoy reading your blog.

    Just wanted to show the love!

    Kryste ( Vivaloff( AS) )

  12. Thanks, everyone. I just refuse to give someone so negative and hateful any room to try to take me "down a few notches". She can find a new place to criticize. I know who I am, what I have gone through, and how I've come out on top in spite of an incredible amount of difficulty. Each person has their own journey at their own pace, and most importantly... God has HIS own timing and HIS plan working actively in my life. am confident in my Lord's ability to heal my heart, with any past hurt and any future pain as well.

    I am definitely going to check out a Snoodle's Tale. :)

    Thank you Kryste!!! I miss you guys!!!

  13. UGH Erin...Anonymous...I have no words! Why? Because I refuse to acknowledge ignorance! It's CLASSIC that he/she didn't add their name: coward!

    Keep doing what you do...we all love you and admire you for all of your continued accomplishments! Many would of crumbled under the same circumstances!

    Love ya but you know that! ~Shelley

  14. Thank you, Shelley - your words were such an encouragement today (they always are!!!). I am so blessed to have friends who have seen me through that valley, and are now still with me on the other side! <3