My church group meets once a week, and while they have wonderful things to report about their lives with increasing frequency, I seem to be still "just getting by" and trying to endure the hurts and disappointments that continue to blast both me and my children, and I find myself frequently asking for prayer to cope with each new challenge.
I'm blessed to have an old friend who has such an incredible heart for the Lord who asked me to join this group, and she has prayed for me every time with grace and sincerity. For the longest time, she has believed in me and lifted me up when I thought I had no value or worth. Her faith in my abilities and in the beauty of who God made me to be has been one of my greatest encouragements.
The other day, she gave me a call after a particularly difficult week, and listened to the latest struggle with my oldest boy's hurting heart as he begins to understand what happened to our family. Seeing my hurt children, complicated family dynamics, learning to be alone and raising a family, financial challenges... the list goes on and on. We always overcome, but we are war-weary.
Her solution was one that I completely ignored for a time, thinking myself unworthy or "blessed enough". She mentioned that she would be praying to "God-size solutions" and blessings to give me true joy after all of the heartbreak. A state of praise-filled waiting for all of the wonderful good things God is going to accomplish in our lives as a result of all of this difficulty and faithful obedience to His will for our lives. Hopeful patience. Joyful anticipation. These are where my heart and mind are focused now, and I know that is how my God wants me to live. Not just existing, but dancing.