Friday, March 2, 2012

Delayed Goals

This past semester in college was tough, and it made me frustrated and ineffective. Being a full-time mother of three young boys AND a full-time college student wasn't in my abilities. I was trying to get my pre-requisites accomplished to take part in the cohort this summer, a 7:30am-5pm intensive course for education, but I just couldn't get it all done in the short amount of time I was given. I was full-time last summer, too, and felt thoroughly burned out.

This led me to a place I am extremely unfamiliar with - I didn't achieve the goal I set out to conquer.

Feelings of inadequacy, hopelessness and disappointment overwhelmed me for much of Christmas break and into the new semester, and I lost focus on what was important. God knew this would happen. He sees everything that happens in my life. It was no surprise to my creator, and He will use ALL things for the good of those who love Him (me), so why was I fretting so much?

As long as I keep moving forward and putting my children first, everything will come together in His time. Now I get a true summer BREAK with my boys. All I have is a couple of courses online to accomplish, and I won't be stuck there for the majority of the day. This also gives me time to save money for next summer's cohort. Childcare for one child full-time is going to be about 1500.00 per month.....! That is 3,000.00 for just two months of my kids being cared for while I work. Praying that it all comes together at that point! I know, however, that if God means for me to be a teacher, it will happen.

For now, I can effectively manage what has been put before me, and have time to truly enjoy my sons in this rapidly changing phase of their lives. My oldest is being registered for both t-ball and Kindergarten this week. This has been a time I've looked forward to with such anticipation!

Doing my best to continue to take one day at a time, advancing my possibilities and staying focused on my ultimate goal - being obedient to God's will for my life with my every step.

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