Tuesday, September 28, 2010

The Upside of Single Parenting

You're single. You're not happy about it. You are also having to parent a child or a couple kids by yourself. You're lonely. You're scared. But, are you?

My recent success with parenting alone has caused me to think about the many UPSIDES of single parenting.

Am I crazy?


Am I *recommending* single parenting over a traditional two parent household?


I'm just saying it's not ALL gloom and doom. We have so much more to give than we realize sometimes, and ESPECIALLY as a single parent. Here's my list, and I'd love it if you'd contribute your OWN upsides in the comment section! Who knows, you might even help out a new single mom or dad who reads this post...

Upside #1: I don't have to divide my time between my spouse and my kids. When I'm with them, they get ALL of me.

Upside #2: I don't have to worry about how I look, how perfect my makeup is, or how I'm still in my PJ's at 10am on Saturday. My kids always think I'm beautiful (at this age - hehe).

Upside #3: In the morning, I can have all three of my boys jump in bed for snuggle time before I get up and around, and don't have anyone else around to be bothered by this ritual. It's all ours. No complaints.

Upside #4: I get to have total control over the budget. When I want to buy my little guys a new bike for their third birthday, I set it aside. If I want them to each have a Thomas the Tank Engine electric toothbrush, I don't have to justify spending 8 dollars on each every couple months.

Upside #5: I can stay up until whatever time I want cleaning and canning and reading with all the lights on and my Ipod turned up, and I'm not bothering anyone. The kids sleep really well through all of that!

Upside #6: I get to have any hobbies I want without anyone being a naysayer. I have CHICKENS for heaven's sake. I'm sure that would drive any spouse nuts.

Upside #7: I don't have anyone to disable the seat belt alarm in my car. Sounds insane, but my ex did that all the time and I'd have to break out the user's manual to turn it back on. Now that I have the boys old enough to be able to unbuckle them, I want to KNOW when they're not on. :)

Upside #8: I get to achieve every goal and dream I've ever hoped for without anyone to hold me back.

Upside #9: I get to help other women in my shoes on a daily basis through this blog, which I never would have started had it not been for the divorce.

Upside #10: I get to wear whatever I want - from stripey socks to sweats to the funkiest modern trends, without an opinion on everything I buy. No feedback allows for the ultimate personal expression, regardless of how ridiculous I look.

Upside #11: I get to stock the fridge and pantry with things I LOVE, with no apologies. :)

Now it's your turn. What do you LOVE about being single, either by temporary separation from your spouse because of work or by divorce, or by staying single in the first place?


  1. you've said it all! i totally agree with you, im a single mother myself to a 5yr old naughty boy,
    he sleeps with a tickle & wakes up with a tickle.

  2. Life of a single moms is wavy in nature. Hard co'z of finances but fun because of the child.

  3. It is fun getting to focus all the extra energy on the kiddos! :)

    I thought of another one - being able to take them on outings whenever my schedule allows, without any notice at all. It was gorgeous today, so we decided to go walk by the lake. :)

  4. I know someone who would fit in that upside #6... ;)

  5. oh...and Happy Birthday sweet lady!! :)

  6. Haha, Kristen! Maybe he thinks goats are enough? LOL! Thank you! It's going to be a great day!

  7. Thanks for the great posts I've read a lot and put it in the family well.